The first week of December, I read this post on Momastery and it really resonated with me. Not because I'm bulimic. P.S. I'm not. I checked. But, because the writer, Glennon Melton, #nailedit.
Please take a moment to read it before we move on.
The very second after I read her post, I linked it to Facebook (of course I did), typed some very meme-ish post like "THIS" and promptly deactivated my Facebook account.
It has been nearly two months since that day and I swear I am telling you the truth when I say
I DO NOT MISS IT AT ALL.
Not one single itty bitty bit.
A few weeks after that, I took it a step further and deleted my Instagram account.
And, if I had a Twitter account, I would've deleted it too.
Since then I have had at least one person, per day, say something about me getting off social media.
Everyone wants to know why...what happened...did someone say or do something to me?
Well, here, my friends is your answer:
1. I am sick of hearing about "your life". Not your real life, but the life you play on the internet. You know the one, where your kids say charming and precocious things, where you and your spouse go on amazing trips and dates, where you pray for everyone and join every cause and do random acts of kindness, where you exercise every day and you eat clean and you take the latest weight-loss pill, where you tell the world how many steps you took today and how many pounds you've lost since your last log in and what week you are on in your couch to 5k program. The one where you complain that your kids are sick/driving you nuts/sassy/allergic/growing too fast/not eating enough/eating too much/teething/potty training/not sleeping/backtalking/and on and on and on, but you are dealing with it and if someone could please call the prayer warriors that would be great. The one where you can't sleep, your _____ hurts and you just.need.a.nap.
God, people, it's freaking exhausting. NO ONE CARES. I know it's hard to imagine that, but it's true. I've been on both sides. I know how something deep in your heart pings everytime someone validates what you post. It makes you feel good to one-up someone and it makes you feel good to have company when you are miserable. I get it. I just don't want to participate in it anymore.
2. Social media takes away from my kids. When we moved to Duncan, away from our overscheduled, stressed out lives in Dallas, my main goal was to spend as much time as possible with my kids. I had already sacrificed the first 3 of Anna's life and the first 5 of Ava's for a paycheck and I had no intention to ever do that again. Believe it or not, I honestly want to BE WITH my kids. I find them hilarious, adorable and I genuinely want to be around them. I want to build a strong and honest relationship with them. Social media was threatening this relationship. I would find myself staring at Facebook when my kids were swimming (that's safe), while I was sitting at a stoplight with my kids in the car (even safer) or worst of all, when they were talking to me. Your kids have amazing and important things to say. They do not want to talk to the top of your head while you stare down at your scrolling news feed. It had to go.
3. Social media is not healthy for me. I am a very competitive person, often to the point of being obsessive and irrational. For example, if I see your post that you ran 10 miles today, even though I already ran 8 this morning, I will very likely go back to the gym and run 2 more so that we are "equal." If I had half a pizza for lunch and you posted about your clean grilled chicken and asparagus that you cooked on Sunday on meal-prep day and took to work in your cute little gym bag with the refrigerated food holders, I felt terrible about myself for the rest of the day. Comparing my life to the lives of others is lame, not to mention unhealthy. I needed to get a grip.
4. Bitching is contageous. Everytime you bitch about how you had THE WORST service in the history of the world at Applebee's last night, or how cold / windy / hot it is outside, or how you are never flying on such-and-such airline again, it sucks the wind out of my sails and it makes other people feel miserable too. Maybe that is your purpose, but seriously, it brings everybody down. So now we are all bitching...What good does that do? Love wins. Every time.
5. I don't want you guys knowing every single thing about me. Sometimes I just want to be left alone. Nothing is wrong. Nothing happened. I am quiet. I am private. That's the INTJ in me. I need my privacy back.
6. BUT...when we are together, I actually want to interact with you. I don't want you to be on your phone the whole time we are at lunch / on vacation / at a movie / at the park. I would love to hear what is REALLY going on in your life. Your real life. I would love to feel like you want to know about my life. I don't want to feel the constant pull of the phone and the need to see what everyone else is doing at that very moment. I want to actually experience the moment instead of thinking about how I could describe what I am doing to make it sound better than it is or waiting to take a picture with the perfect filter to make it look even more amazing than it is.
So, anyhoo...I guess that's it. I am not saying that you should join me in quitting Facebook / Instagram / Twitter, but I'm pretty sure you won't regret it if you do.